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Women Shouldn't Vote.

So I crawled into bed and had just dozed off last night and was then awakened by pounding at my door. Hard pounding. I grabbed my man cannon and with each step the pounding got harder. I didn't know what to expect. I jerk my door open and there's my neighbor telling me the forest is on fire and at our back doors. I could see the raging flames and glow and thick smoke. So I get dressed real quick and go evaluate. Its bad. Huge walls of flames in the forests south of me within 100 yards. My neighbors were screaming and bugged out. Its so bad that it looks like we're about to be overtaken so I order my wife and kids to grab what they can and get in the vehicle. I grab a few of my guitars and guns, my wife grabs our family photo albums and whatnot and load it. I drag out water hoses and hook them up because I ain't leaving. I'm going to send my family out but I'll stay and try and save what I can. Then the fire crews start pulling in. Then a rollback goes by with a burnt-out car on it from down the road. I was waiting for the power lines to fall. I have a dozen fire trucks in my yard along with bamberlamps. Water hoses going every which direction. A makeshift water pool set up by my driveway.

Its been very dry. We're in a major drought right now and have been for a while. Lots of fallen leaves everywhere. Keep in mind, the wind is howling 30-40mph the whole time stoking the flames. It inches closer and gets bigger and bigger. My heart is breaking because I'm about to lose everything. Irreplaceable things. My wife & kids sit in the vehicle in the driveway awaiting my signal to GTFO. At this point I join the fire crews and start fighting this monster. The tops of trees are on fire and fire bats flying every which direction as if its trying to spread to other parts non-disturbed. Then a shitload of seasoned firefighters show up and we finally get it under control.

Life can change quickly. One moment lying in bed, then the next walls of flames everywhere with the threat of losing everything. Its a helluva thing to wake up to. Then about 5 am we got some needed rain. There's a handful of crew still here finishing up this morning but I can still see flames. We got lucky this time. Praise Hitler

The bartender asked if any of us knew CPR.
“I know CPR” I said. “ I also know the rest of the alphabet too“……

Everyone around the bar had a chuckle and laughed.
….except for this one guy.