Knowing that you are a piece of shit that has made ZERO impact on anyone on this God's earth.
The whole weepy part that makes people emotional is the realization George Bailey has, and the "Happy Ending". He was responsible for a ton of things, all cumulative, and impactful to the world, and especially friends and family.
Well I ain't got non of those. The ones I have are incidental, and left over family from my dead mothers side. Nothing in my life mattered. Every woman I seriously dated cheated on and left me for another man, several marrying that said man. There's no woman on earth "pining" for me, Hell the last 3 I told I was moderately interested in literally blocked me from contacting them.
If I have a purpose it is to be an example of rejection, ignorance, and hate. I'm gonna smoke, drink, and give a giant FUCK YOU to the whole WORLD for the rest of my days.
Life sucks, then you die alone and forgotten. Fuck jumping into a river or shit, I'm terrified of water and that. Ain't no self deletion, just have no care for what happens anymore. You all can eat a dumpster of dicks. You know what, fuck it, I'm not taking my insulin tonight and drinking until I pass out.
Hope you get to spend time with the people you love most. Know that Christ has overcome the World, and in and through Him we can too. Oh , and Never Relax
My USCG patrol boat went out on a rescue mission. 82' boat. I had choked down an egg mcmuffin in like 30 seconds right before we pulled out.
15 ft seas. your hands would ache from hanging on. the whole crew was in the pilot house getting briefed by the Chief bosun mate.
the only time I ever threw up on a boat was that morning. I wasnt even seasick. the mcspew just decided to escape. I LEAN OVER THE PILOT HOUSE RAIL AND SPEW!
instantly 6 guys are jeering me "CONMAN YOU PUSSY!" yes. they called me conman. it was so rough out that the main deck was awash. my mcspew washing around.
I thought I'll show these fuckers who's a pussy! I slid down the ladder to the main deck and scrambled around picking up pieces of my egg mcmuffin. the crew watching me like WTF?
I looked them in the eyes and ATE THAT FUCKING MCMUFFIN AGAIN! every one of them except the Chief starting spewing! my finest hour in the Coast Guard!
the crew lays below and I'm in the pilot house with the Chief. he says "conman you sick fuck even I had to swallow after that!
