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While watching "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" in bed, I turned to my wife and asked, "Want to have sex?"
Without even glancing my way, she replied, "No."
"Is that your final answer?" I asked.
"Yes," she said firmly.
"Alright," I said, "then I’d like to phone a friend."
And that’s when the fight began.


We went out to a restaurant, and the waiter took my order first.
"I'll have the rump steak, rare," I said.
He raised an eyebrow and asked, "Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah," I replied, "she can order for herself."
And that’s when the fight began.


At her high school reunion, my wife couldn’t stop staring at a drunken man at a nearby table.
"Do you know him?" I asked.
"Yes," she sighed. "He’s my old boyfriend. I hear he started drinking right after we broke up and hasn’t been sober since."
I said, "Wow! Who knew someone could celebrate that long?"
And that’s when the fight began.


When the lawn mower broke, my wife kept hinting I should fix it, but I always had other priorities.
One day, I came home to find her in the yard, cutting the grass with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
I watched for a moment, then silently went into the house. When I returned, I handed her a toothbrush and said, "When you’re done, you might as well sweep the driveway too."
The doctors say I’ll recover, but I’ll always walk with a limp.


My wife sat next to me as I was flipping through channels.
"What’s on TV?" she asked.
"Dust," I replied.
And that’s when the fight began.


One Saturday, I got up early to go fishing, but heavy rain and wind forced me to cancel.
I quietly undressed and slipped back into bed, cuddling up to my wife. "Terrible weather out there," I whispered.
Without turning around, she replied, "Can you believe my idiot husband went out fishing in this?"
And that’s when the fight began.


For our anniversary, my wife hinted she wanted something shiny that could go from 0 to 150 in seconds.
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And that’s when the fight began.


When I went to apply for Social Security, I realized I’d forgotten my ID.
The clerk asked me to unbutton my shirt, and when she saw my silver chest hair, she said, "That’s proof enough," and processed my application.
Excitedly, I told my wife the story when I got home.
She said, "You should’ve dropped your pants; they might’ve given you disability too."
And that’s when the fight began.


One morning, my wife stood in front of the mirror, unhappy with her reflection.
"I feel old, fat, and ugly," she said. "I need a compliment."
I replied, "Your eyesight is perfect."
And that’s when the fight began.


This morning, I rear-ended another car. The driver got out and turned out to be a dwarf.
He glared at me and said, "I am NOT happy!"
So I asked, "Well, which one ARE you then?"
And that’s when the fight began.


One Christmas, I bought my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a gift.
The next year, I didn’t get her anything.
When she asked why, I said, "Well, you haven’t used last year’s gift yet!"
And that’s when the fight began.

https://x.com/misfitpatriot_/status/1902025355692507346

The big elephant in the room that most of you here ignore. The vast majority of Christians in this country are JEW LOVERS!!!

Is it ok to call them tardy?

Plenty of time to play
500 down 500 to go
These are 147gr with reloader tricks makes these hit extremely hard.
These are for a play day coming up,gonna bust up some shit with good friends.
GET OUT AND RELOAD!
https://ibb.co/5gsgTrJ4

https://tools.woot.com/offers/yssoa-20-pack-7-gallon-grow-bags-1

*with free shipping via amazon prime.

I've been container growing for the past 30 years or so, including when I had the bamboo nursery. Containers and growing technologies have been a major part of my life. Ignore if you have amazing soil in the ground for gardening.

https://www.chessvideos.tv/bimg/alkwzfapffui.png
Black queen just snagged a couple pawns while I pressed this attack. I'm not seeing any line so far that doesn't need an additional positioning move. That queen and white bishop are a pain in my ass at the moment. Thoughts?

https://files.catbox.moe/7enpds.jpg
Im lookin at you cali